'Twas the Night Before the ATCC Delivery



Cara N. Wilder, Ph.D.

 

 

 

'Twas the night before the ATCC delivery, when all through the lab

Not a creature was stirring, not even the first year grads.

The petri dishes and test tubes were placed on the lab benches with care,

In hopes that the ATCC delivery soon would be there.

The grad students were nestled all snug in their beds,

While visions of authenticated microbes danced in their heads.

And I in my old college sweatshirt and coffee stained pants,

Had just settled down to finish writing a grant.
When out in the parking lot there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from my office to see what was the matter.

Away to the loading dock I ran with much haste,

Tore open the doors, there was no time to waste.

The street lamps reflecting off the new-fallen snow
Provided a beautiful shine off the garbage bins below.

When, what to my wondering eyes should arrive,
But a giant delivery truck driving up College Drive.
With an energetic driver, so lively and spry,

I knew in a moment it must be the ATCC delivery guy.

With precision driving he drove his truck up the road,

And he parked, opened his truck, and described his load;

"Here is your Listeria! Your, E. coli! Your, Enterococcus and Salmonella!
Your enteric protozoa! Your Bacillus cereus! Your Giardia and Vorticella!

To the top of the loading ramp! To your lab down the hall!

Now dash away! To the freezer! Preserve them all!"

Quick as a bunny I ran to the lab,

And carefully placed the strains in the coldest freezer I had.

Satisfied with my purchase I let out a sigh,

Then headed back to the loading dock to say goodbye.

The delivery guy pulled a clipboard from the front seat,

I signed my name slowly to make sure it was neat.

He sprang to his truck, turned the key in the ignition,

And drove back to ATCC to prepare for his next mission.

But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,

"Authenticated ATCC strains for all, and to all a good-night."